There is a particular kind of confidence that comes from knowing exactly what you want. The woman who orders without hesitation, no menu, no deferring to whoever she's with, no apologetic "I'll just have whatever" communicates something before she's said a word. The martini is the ultimate expression of this. It is not a drink you stumble into. It is a drink you choose.
Here are the five martinis every woman should know. Not because you need to drink them all, but because knowing them means you always have an answer when the bartender looks your way.
The Classic Dry Martini
Let's start with the original. A dry martini is gin, dry vermouth, and a lemon twist or olive, in proportions that will spark an argument in any serious bar. The drier the martini, the less vermouth: some bartenders will simply wave the bottle near the glass. This is the drink that built the reputation.
What to order: "A dry martini, gin, up, with a twist." If you want to go further: specify your gin. Tanqueray No. Ten makes a particularly clean, citrus-forward martini. Hendrick's, if you prefer floral. Beefeater, if you want something classic and unassuming.
What it says about you: You are not here to be impressed. You are not trying anything new. You have already arrived.
The Dirty Martini
The dirty martini introduces olive brine to the glass, turning the drink cloudy and adding a briny, savory depth that makes it genuinely polarising. People who love dirty martinis love them with the kind of loyalty that borders on personal identity. People who don't, don't understand the appeal at all. There is no middle ground.
What to order: "A dirty martini, vodka, extra dirty." Vodka is standard here — gin can work but the botanical notes fight with the brine. Extra dirty means more brine, which is almost always the right call.
What it says about you: You know what you like. You are not apologising for it.
The Espresso Martini
The espresso martini was invented in the 1980s by London bartender Dick Bradsell for a model who asked for something to "wake her up and then f*** her up." It is now one of the most ordered cocktails in the UK, and for good reason: it is excellent. Vodka, coffee liqueur, fresh espresso, shaken hard until frothy. It is dessert, caffeine, and a night out in one glass.
What to order: "An espresso martini, double shot, not too sweet." The not-too-sweet instruction matters, many bars make them cloying. If the bar has a particular single-origin espresso on the menu, ask for it.
What it says about you: You are staying until last orders. You have somewhere to be in the morning.
The Porn Star Martini
The name is deliberately provocative, which is part of its charm. Passion fruit purée, vanilla vodka, passionfruit liqueur, lime juice, and a shot of prosecco served on the side. It is unapologetically sweet and unapologetically fun. It is also, contrary to what some bars will have you believe, a genuinely well-constructed cocktail when made properly.
What to order: "A Porn Star Martini." There is no modification needed. Let the bar do what they do. The Prosecco shot is not optional, drink it when the glass is half full.
What it says about you: You do not take yourself too seriously. This is a compliment.
The Aperol Spritz Martini
This is the newer entrant: a hybrid of the Italian aperitivo tradition and the martini format. Aperol, prosecco, a splash of soda, served in a coupe rather than a highball. Some bars do a more structured version with a touch of dry vermouth. It is bitter, effervescent, and very easy to drink through an entire evening without noticing.
What to order: Ask your bartender how they make it. A bar that takes this drink seriously will have an opinion and will tell you. A bar that doesn't will just pour Aperol and prosecco.
What it says about you: You've been to Italy, or you wish you had.
The real rule
The best thing you can order is whatever you actually want. Confidence at a bar, like confidence anywhere, comes from knowing yourself well enough to say it clearly. The drink is just the proof of that.
And for the record: a woman who orders a pint of lager without apology is just as compelling as one who orders a martini. It's the without apology that does it.
Dressed for the occasion matters, too. If you're going to order like you own the room, you might as well look like it. Rosenworth's The Bordeaux Dress was made for exactly this.